DENVER (AP) — Santa’s trackers at the North American Aerospace Defense Command say they are breaking records this Christmas Eve.

Volunteers at Peterson Air Force Base in Colorado had fielded more than 80,000 calls Saturday evening, breaking its record, as they told the mostly young callers where Santa was flying.

Norad-Santa Tracking

The rush is here.  Cars, people.  People in cars.   People against cars.  I wonder what that pedestrian’s last thought was before he’d be damned if he was going to use the cross walk?   So his dumbass body laying in the street, emergency vehicles on both sides of traffic,  seemed to only make people more frantic rather than thoughtful.  Like, here’s a thought: Slow the fuck down.  NONE of this is that important.

Holidays are for fun, a real what-the-hell free for all to show your goodwill towards other humans.  Lady crowding me in Sees candy, hating on me for doing the exact same thing she was going to be doing.  My good will slips, I wish her to choke on her damn candy.  No no no.   Rise above the fray, be sky high, Santa High! with your joy and good intentions.   Transcend the carbon-based, materialist greed-vessel you inhabit!  Merry Merry, Happy Happy.

And use the crosswalks.

It is not my preferred beverage, but I think there would be entertainment value in watching it being consumed.

Holiday Oil Change.